Home Forums OFF TOPIC Belphagor Jokes (don't be a pussy)

This topic contains 90 replies, has 12 voices, and was last updated by Belphagor Belphagor 4 years, 2 months ago.

Viewing 55 posts - 1 through 55 (of 91 total)
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  • #730
    Belphagor
    Belphagor
    Keymaster

    How many babies does it take to change a lightbulb?

    Well I’ve got at least 8 in my basement and its still dark.

    #733
    beelzebub
    beelzebub
    Keymaster

    @belphy u r like a gurl fritzl lmao

    #736

    What is worse than a dead baby in a trash can?
    100 dead babies in a trash can.
    What is worse than that?
    There’s a live one at the bottom.
    What is worse than that?
    It eats its way out.
    What is worse than that?
    It comes back for seconds.

    #737
    Belphagor
    Belphagor
    Keymaster

    What did the Boston Marathon bombers do that Hitler couldn’t?

    Ended a race.

    #742
    Belphagor
    Belphagor
    Keymaster

    My girlfriend called me a pedophile today… I told her that’s a big word for a six year old.

    #743

    Okay last joke in that kind, but imagine your lord in a beautiful clown costume now…

    What is the worst part about killing a baby?
    Getting blood on your clown suit.

    #746

    @belphi r those all jokes or u just a sick f*ck

     

    #747
    asmodea
    asmodea
    Keymaster

    praise the lord! lmao

    #749

    are those all your jokes or u look em up?

     

    #750
    Boy One Gen. IV
    Boy One Gen. IV
    Keymaster

    Roflmfao

    #751
    Belphagor
    Belphagor
    Keymaster

    <i>I will keep on writing this jokes, i hope you will enjoy it everytime you read them my Lord </i>

    #752
    beelzebub
    beelzebub
    Keymaster

    shes just a big fuckin sick fuck but shes MY hot sick fuck <33333

    #753
    Belphagor
    Belphagor
    Keymaster

    Iflyer these jokes are all in my mind, i just have to write them down

    #758
    Belphagor
    Belphagor
    Keymaster

    I like children but I can’t eat a whole one.

    #760
    HydraKimberly
    HydraKimberly
    Keymaster

    If it had a bit more fun in it, it’d be my personal favourite #badjokes

    XXX

    #762
    Belphagor
    Belphagor
    Keymaster

    How long does it take a black person to take a shit? 9 months

    #763

    @belzeebub sick fuck yes!

    #767
    Belphagor
    Belphagor
    Keymaster

    What’s the difference between Santa Claus and Jews?

    Santa goes down the chimney.

    #768
    HydraKimberly
    HydraKimberly
    Keymaster

    cigarettes would be amaaaazing !!

    XXX

    #770
    Belphagor
    Belphagor
    Keymaster

    What’s the difference between the boy scouts and fighters?

    Boy scouts come back from camp.

    #771
    beelzebub
    beelzebub
    Keymaster

    @belphy whos ur friend who provides the jokes???ßßß?°?? Hitler? Belphy, burn in hell!!!!1111!!1!

    #773

    @hydraKimberl u sell cigarettes ?

     

    #775
    Belphagor
    Belphagor
    Keymaster

    “Mommy, mommy, daddy’s penis tastes funny!”

    “Stop complaining and get your sister another tampon!”

    #776

    What’s the difference between a fighter and a pizza?
    A pizza doesn’t scream in the oven.

    • This reply was modified 4 years, 3 months ago by  shadowlady4.
    #777
    Belphagor
    Belphagor
    Keymaster
    1. @beelzebub He is gorgeous *-*
    #781

    Why do fighters stink?
    So blind people can hate them too.

    #782
    Belphagor
    Belphagor
    Keymaster

    What’s the best part about fucking little girls? When you’re done fucking them like a little girl you can flip them over and fuck them like a little boy.

    #783
    HydraKimberly
    HydraKimberly
    Keymaster

    #Iflyerbigwhite3 I can sell everthing you want 💘

    not only things

    XXX

    #784
    Belphagor
    Belphagor
    Keymaster

    Osama Spinladen: Droppin them beats like the twin towers.

    #789
    Belphagor
    Belphagor
    Keymaster

    What’s the difference between British Airways and Bin Laden Airways? To get a British Airway flight you have to go to the airport, Bin Laden comes right to your window

    #791

    What is a fighter?
    Proof that skunks fuck monkeys.

    #792
    Belphagor
    Belphagor
    Keymaster

    Where do you get Ethiopian food?

    Not Ethiopia.

    #794

    someone just asked me

    #796
    HydraKelly
    HydraKelly
    Keymaster

    lmaof

    lord is killing it

    xoxo

    #797
    beelzebub
    beelzebub
    Keymaster

    buuuuurn

    #799

    got a nice picture :)

     

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    #802

    more pls need them for the shots of the day

     

    #803
    beelzebub
    beelzebub
    Keymaster

    @lordoftheshadowpits I dont get it……..

    #804

    sathanus
    Keymaster

    What is black on top and white on the bottom? Rape.

    #806
    Belphagor
    Belphagor
    Keymaster

    A little girl and her dad take their dog to a lake for a walk, her dog sees a bird and chases it into the water and goes under. The dad says “stay here, I’m going to go get the dog” then goes into the lake and disappears under the water. So the little girl is sitting by the lake crying and an older gentlan walks by and ask her why she’s crying, she says “my dog drowned and my dad drowned chasing it”. The old man then says “wow, it just really isn’t your day” as he undoes his belt.

     

    Hope it isn’t too hard for you all…

    #811

    A daughter asks her dad if she can have a sleepover with her girlfriends and he agrees. Later on, he over hears their game of truth or dare to which the daughter’s friend asks her when the last time she had an orgasm was. The daughter replied, “Oh, about 3 days ago.” and her dad bursts into the room yelling, “I KNEW YOU WERE FAKING LAST

    #816
    Belphagor
    Belphagor
    Keymaster

    What’s harder than nailing babies to a fence? The mans cock whilst doing it.

    #817

    A little girl goes into the shower with her mom. She looks up at her mothers’ breasts and says “Mommy, when will I get those?” Her mother says “when you’re older”. A few days later she goes into the shower with her dad. She looks up at his penis and says “Daddy, when will I get one of those?” Her father says “when your mother leaves for work”.

    #818
    Belphagor
    Belphagor
    Keymaster

    Why does Boy Nine: Gen. II have such a big dick? Because he had no other toys to play with when he was little.

    • This reply was modified 4 years, 3 months ago by  shadowlady4.
    #821

    I know it’s a classic but I like :

    “Dad ! Dad ! Can I have some chocolate ?”

    “Sure, son, it’s on the top shelf.”

    “But Dad, I don’t have any arms.”

    “No arms, no chocolate.”

    #823
    Belphagor
    Belphagor
    Keymaster

    A girls dad died in a car crash. In school, the teacher explained it to the class, with the girl just sitting there. Sometime during the day, every classmate told her they had their condolences. The last one that came to her did not say this. She said, “You’re halfway to becoming Batman!” They became best friends, the end.

    #825

    a whole new level

     

    #826

    What makes an ISIS joke funny? The execution.

    #828
    beelzebub
    beelzebub
    Keymaster

    a whole new woooorld <333

    #829
    Belphagor
    Belphagor
    Keymaster

    I farted in front of my Jewish friend and he got mad, so I told him “come on, a little gas never killed anybody!”

    #831
    Belphagor
    Belphagor
    Keymaster

    How do you get a nun pregnant?

    Rape the bitch.

    #832

    How do you kill 20 flies with one hit?

    Slap Boy Four: Gen. VIII in the face.

    • This reply was modified 4 years, 3 months ago by  shadowlady4.
    #834
    Belphagor
    Belphagor
    Keymaster

    How do you start a rave in the Pits?

    Just celo-tape a sandwich to the ceiling.

    • This reply was modified 4 years, 3 months ago by  shadowlady4.
    #836

    a man goes to see his doctor and says “doctor i think my 13 year old daughter is pregnant” the doctor replied “jesus, your 13 year old daughter is sexually active?” the man replied ” not really , most of the time she just lays there and cries”

    #865
    Belphagor
    Belphagor
    Keymaster

    <i>Got new jokes bitches!!! </i>

    Just enjoy 😉

     

    • What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death? Isaac Newton died as a virgin.
    • A white woman meets a handsome black man at a bar and decides to let him go home with her. At the door she reaches into his pants and whispers seductively “show me what they say about black men is true” So he stabs her and steals her purse.
    • A little girl goes into the shower with her mom. She looks up at her mothers’ breasts and says “Mommy, when will I get those?” Her mother says “when you’re older”. A few days later she goes into the shower with her dad. She looks up at his penis and says “Daddy, when will I get one of those?” Her father says “when your mother leaves for work”.
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